Woke up to the sound of laughter coming from the golf course. A group of legless expats were still trying to finish the dawn golf competition. Went over to the Hazard for breakfast and was entertained by the rugby sons still being emitted, right up to lunchtime.

In the afternoon we took a swim in the empty and supposedly closed pool. The gate was open and the guard happily chatted to us. I felt sorry for the only barman left, as everything was closed, he should have finished by 12 but they kept him on all day.

Phillip and David joined us outside for a heaving evening. Phillip had my hairs on end detailing his shady complicated life including heroin addiction in Kenya. I went to bed before the others but when Garry came in later he promptly had to leave again to be sick! Too much Christmas festivities!

Garry was still rough this morning! We went into town and posted off Alan’s birthday present and hand painted card Garry made. Did some shopping before getting down to cleaning dear old Landy. It was a boiling hot day so delicate Garry put the tarpaulin up, using my kitchen knife too, and the bamboo down for poles! We still haven’t replaced our machete – there’s not much point now anyway. I did some washing before cleaning out the front of the car. Every 5 minutes having to shake myself down to clear out the invading army of ants. An interesting young Canadian came over to talk to us, he’s been here as long as us, but we’ve never spoken much. He has a maize farm and works it for 6 months of the year and spends the winter travelling, he’s a keen bank note collector and was telling us how he makes big bucks doing it. We cooked our own dinner for a change and it was rough. We had nut cutlets and potatoes with carrots. Somehow the cutlets didn’t much resemble the ones I’ve had before. Shared it with Daniel, then Phillip joined us after, on his own tonight though. We went to bed early tonight – still recovering.

Took the car straight down to Halls and they steam cleaned the engine and underneath, washed and waxed the bodywork for 25k (£3) and only 3 hours. We made up some bright “for sale” signs, put one on the back door, then I walked down to the PTC and put one on their notice board.

When we left the garage we went for an ice-cream but it wasn’t very big or nice. Had the best fried Chambo and chips at the club for dinner. Then had a game of snooker. Barry, the loud Brumi kindly offered to let us stay at his house, but we waited to see if he would remember when he had sobered up a bit. Sure enough at 11 he asked if we were ready and so we followed him home. It was a huge bungalow but with the minimum furniture and no ornaments as its just a transit house. We had a coffee with him and his girlfriend Ruth before going to bed in a real bed in a real house.

God to know Elious, the house boy, had a nice breakfast. Then got down to a serious clean up of Landy. We scrubbed everything even using tooth brushes for the fiddly bits. We got rained off at lunchtime and Barry came back for lunch. Alone and sober, he’s a nice block – just lonely. He’s divorced but has a girlfriend in Ghana now.

It was still raining in the afternoon so we went into town – to put our ads in the new PTC, went to the Amex office and there was a big DHL envelope for us! Excited we found the first café and had a coffee while we read the news. Photos – lovely surprise, some from Dad and some of ours from Sahara.

We then went to the Communications office, where I met Duncan. Even though I had the wrong area the operator kindly sorted it out and I spoke to Lisa. It was 1.30 in the morning so she was a bit bleary eyed but it was great to hear her voice. 6 minutes is no-where near long enough though.

Popped into the golf club but there’s been no response to the newspaper and that came out first yesterday. We didn’t know the food situation at Barry’s so we went for a Chinese, which was delicious. We had a nice evening for only £5. When we got home though there was dinner for us.

Worked all day on the van. Cleared everything out of the cupboards and sorted out what had to be sent home and gave some things away to Illious. The garden here is always full of bright red birds with batman masks on.

Barry brought a colleague home, a Filipino called John, who’s a diver, interesting hearing about his work. He’s dived 200 feet down! We went for a quick drink at the club – no reply still to our ad!

Were woken up by the sound of giggling in the early hours. They had got themselves 2 tarts for the night.

We went down to Glens to find out about freighting our things home – it takes 3 months and is very expensive so left it. Will probably be cheaper from South Africa. Back at the house I did some washing and Garry boot-polished the wheel arches, bumper etc. I then scrubbed the carpet by hand. Landy is gleaming inside and out now and looks like a new car again.

Illious cooked a great roast chicken dinner for us before we went down the club. To our surprise Trevor and Roach were there. Feeling a bit travel worn. Trevor had Malaria and they had a bad time in Blantyne. Roach nearly raped by 2 Zambian prostitutes! Joined Barry’s crowd for a drink till the early hours.

We’ve decided to go to Blantyne for our Mozambique visas and take our chance with the “Gun Run”. Zambia sound like its going through a time of unrest – the government have just increased the price of maize by 3 times!

We got up early to have a breakfast with Barry but he was out so we packed away and by the time we were ready Barry came back. We thanked him gratefully and gave him some fags. Went down to the Golf Club to say goodbye to Roach and Trevor. They were busily throwing their things all over the place but not in the packs. Agreed to visit them at home.

Left Lilongwe at about 11am and had a lovely drive through the mountains and by 2pm we arrived at Liwonde. It was really hot and we stopped to look at some curio stalls. We went to the Discovery Lodge that Barry recommended. It was decorated really OTT but sat right on the edge of the Shire River. It was a dramatic setting, heavy with rain cloud rushing on top of us. Had a cup of tea and decided to leave, as the staff weren’t up to Malawi standard. I was so glad we did, it was only a hour’s scenic drive to Zombe. A pretty old gardened town – it used to be the capital. Apparently Banda only moved it to ponce more grants from the aid agencies. There was a great baker that was open on a Sunday, as they told us it would open at 4pm we waited and eventually at 4.30 Garry found the guy to open up. At which time people came out from the woodwork, who had been waiting patiently and silently.

We drove straight up the plateau, weaving higher and higher through the pine forest. The small was a pure tonic and cleaned the lungs. We stopped at the hotel to get directions for the campsite and was mobbed by people selling carvings and veg. We did buy perfect specimens of carrots and new potatoes, and then escaped to the campsite.

There were quite a few tents there but we found a nice spot. Talked to a South African couple then took a walk to the waterfalls. New fern grew over everything and strange palms like umbrellas shaded the path.

The falls were sprawling but not high and we took some nice photos. Back at the campsite we cooked our fresh veg and heated up some pasties. Finished eating just in time for a pour-down. Scrambled inside Landy at 8.30 – early to bed!

Woke up early – eager to go for a walk in the woods but it was still pouring down so we went back to sleep. It was still raining at 8.30 so we put the bed away while we were still in it – a feat of contortionism!

Gave the South African couple a life to the bottom of the plateau, slipping on the glass surface of the mud tracks. Stopped in Zombe town in a little café for egg on toast. On the way to Blantyne we picked up an English hitcher, Maggie, who I recognised from Kenya.

In Blantyne we went straight to change money, after 2 attempts we managed to get a good deal, although Garry wasn’t very happy over the situation. Money in our pocket, we went to find a place to stay, the church mission wouldn’t let us camp and only had dorms. The G. Rest house, which looked like a prison was full. So we went to Blantyne sports club and camped in the car park as there wasn’t a car access to the campsite.

It was a beautiful place, much posher than Lilongwe. Had a drink and met Colin, and the rest of the crowd from Monkey Bay. That night we ate there quite cheaply – and good grub.

Had a fantastic breakfast at the club then took Maggie back to Limbe, to the Mozambique consulate where we arranged our visas. They’ll be ready tomorrow so we won’t have time to go back to Zombe.

It sounds as though Mozambique is quiet at the moment so we’ll give it a tray and use up another life! Waling around the town in the afternoon looking for ???? pressies – who should we meet but dear old Achim. He tried to get a tourist via for Moz but no chance! Went for a coffee with him to catch up on adventures then agreed to meet him for dinner. As we were leaving him, a dishevelled man came up to us, crying, and he said “I’m not sick but I’m very hungry, I can’t get a job and don’t have enough money to go back to my wife in Zambe”, True or not, he struck our hearts. At the time we were busy trying to get rid of the rest of our kwachas! I gave him a bag of rice and the 5½K bus fare to Zambe. We walked around the town looking at craft and material but didn’t get anything.

I re-organised the cupboards and for some reason it made me feel really sick, so I laid down and after a few hours felt good enough to go out. Met Achim outside the Rest House and went for a Chinese. There was half the sports club there and after a good meal were surprised to see Barry and Nevel walk in. They joined us for dinner. After 3 bottles of Saki we were in high spirits! And didn’t mind the 90K bill! Stayed there till 12.30. A good night.

We telephoned Ken early at home. The club kindly let us use the phone at the standard rate. Had to let someone know our crazy death wish plan. Picked up Achim and took Maggie so we could all pick up our passports. We got our straight away but Garry’s wasn’t there! Panic – have they lost it? After 20 minutes it appeared. You wouldn’t know this was the embassy of a war-torn country at all – total normality reigned. Realised in time that our cholera vaccination had expired, so we went to a doctors and without queuing the Indian doctor stamped it straight away and told us it was at our risk not having the jab!

We walked around town, got soaked to the skin, so hid in a café and had coffee and chocolate cake. After a lot of contemplation we finally bought a lovely carved ebony lamp and some ashtrays from a stall, which took a lot of bartering! I even got a straw bag thrown in.

At 12 we met Achim and Maggie with Mark and Tracy and had a good lunch before setting off at 2.30pm to the border. It was only a 2 hour drive to Mwanze and so we drove straight through town to find out details of the convoy.

If we get up at 4.30!! we can go through customs ready for the convoy at 7.30. We found a basic but clean African Hotel but they only had single rooms so we camped outside for nothing. Went over to the “restaurant” and had, I’m guessing, meat and rice and beans. Maggie put a brave face on – it was the first time she had the privilege. Afterwards we walked along to the bar to talk to the truck drivers about the convoy.

I’ve never seen such huge new lorries – not even at home! These men are hard and very well paid, but when you ask them about the convoy they turned into big kids telling us how they race through! Talked to a Portuguese man who regularly goes to Teke to visit his parents. Stumbled back to the hotel in total darkness – there’s no electricity here yet. Had a cake with the Christian manager. He showed Garry his lovely house out the back and explained how lonely he was since his new wife left him with his life savings! Went to bed early at 9pm, nervous for the next days travelling.

Woke up at 4.30 still in darkness. Got dressed quickly and had a nice surprise in the dingy back room where the man gave me a huge iron bowl of hot water to wash in by torch light. Tension high we reached the border at 5 and had to join the back of the queue of about 100 trucks. We left Garry with the van and walked to the office, where a neat queue was formed that turned into a thrashing crowd as it entered the office. We filled out our exit forms and began to worry about our dodgy declaration forms. After 1 hour our turn came and they didn’t even ask for the forms! No Problem!

Garry had managed to weave his way to the front of the line with the other few cards. We waited for 1½ hours and met Colin and Grant, who were left behind the day before.

There were Zimbabwe soldiers everywhere and South African made tanks. A truck had gone through on its own and rolled over, killing 2 soldiers and injuring 3 civilians so we had to wait another hour for it to be cleared. Then we were off, driving fast behind one tank. A few Mozambicans still living here looked very under nourished but I was so surprised to see so little evidence of a war going on. At one stage we drove past 3 men un-uniformed but carrying machine guns! The tarmac road was in excellent condition, except every now and again, huge chunks were missing. At Teke the town was very run down but not blown to bits as I imagined. In the centre of town we crossed the Zambezi for the last time. Over a newly constructed bridge that had been so badly weakened by heavy tanks that only 1 vehicle can cross at a time at 20klph. Any currency was acceptable for the toll!

The road signs were terrible and we found ourselves in the town centre minus the convey? – We asked some soldiers for directions and we got back on the right road but no convoy! – All over town were Mozambique tanks in such a terrible condition they didn’t look like they’d make it to the corner shop! Garry stopped again and asked one of them the way – but they only spoke Portuguese. We were arguing about whether to go on or turn back when we reached the queue of trucks waiting for next convoy tank.

It was unbearable hot and we waited in the midday sun for 1½ hours!, by the side of the road in the middle of Mozambique! A strange mixture of people – a bus load of nuns, a Zimbabwean business man, who was very interesting to talk to as well as an Englishman teaching in Botswana. Some said looking kids hung around for food, to think they’ve never know peace in their lives!

We gave them the rest of our Malaun kwacha and a packet of biscuits. Achim gave a young boy his old trainers and although they were twice his size, was over the moon. At last the tank led us off but after a few kms they had a puncture and told us to go ahead on our own! We were now leading the convoy. The trucks disappeared and there were just 5 cars going hell for leather to get out as soon as possible. We reached the border with no problems and were through formalities in Zimbabwe by 4.30pm. We were so thirsty we stopped at the first stop and had 2 cokes each. Were told there wasn’t anywhere to stay so drove all the way to Harare. From neat mud hut villages, we drove into what I imagine American cities to look like.

Stopped at a hi-tech burger bar and blitzed our brains on super-burgers with pin-ball machines and all the so-called modern noises I’d forgotten how much I hated. The municipal caravan park was just as mind-blowing – covering acres of woodland with a huge block for toilets, bath and showers, laundry and ironing room with only a handful of people staying there. Went to bed at 10pm after a long, never to be repeated day!

Went to the same Burger bar for breakfast of 2 eggs, bacon, sausage, beans and toast. Then into town, we could have been in the West End, except every building is new and the majority of faces are black.

We went straight to the Post Office eager to collect our Christmas Post and there were 6 letters for us – Yippee. Went straight to the bar to read them – it turned out to be Wimpy’s! Met Kate and Heather there. 2 great letters from Mum – she’s taking a real interest in our trip, a hilarious one from Al and 2 from Sylv. Surprise, Surprise, a card from Myriam that Sylvi had re-directed from Dov (what a good friend). Walked around the shops, got disgusted with the hundreds of ivory and trophy shops. Did buy an exquisite bust and 2 zimbabwe tee-shirts. Changed some money in the bank then met Achim and had a Wimpy.

Bought a whole fillet of steak for £2.50 and the four of us built a fire to cook it on. Luckily Maggie is going in the morning cos she’s boring us all to tears. Achim just pretends not to understand a word of it!

Had a needed lie-in till 8am and realised Heather and Grant were camped here, so had a cup of tea with them, then took everyone into town. Our main objective of the day was to find a garage, as our rear suspension bushes need replacing. The only Land Rover garage was closed till Monday.

Phoned Ken in a coin box and got through straight away. Did some food shopping – the first time in Africa we could buy what we wanted at affordable prices. Met Heather and Grant, and outside having a coke 5 men asked us if we would sponsor them for a walk, 2 seconds later, plain clothed police arrested one and wanted us to give evidence at the station. Apparently, it’s a con, when your attention is on the sponsor paper they rob you. A good lesson to learn in the security needed here. We told the police we couldn’t identify them and left.

The town was empty and we had difficulty in finding a bar. When we did we stayed there all afternoon. A town of contrast, a white man came and sat beside us, he stank the whole place out (like a pig farm) and some blacks asked him to leave. I asked a black girl where all the bars in town were and she replied “You shouldn’t eat so many chips, your spots are bad!” There is definitely an electric feeling of liberation here and the blacks look better dressed than the whites. There are not many beggars here either. Slightly tipsy we ventured out in the pouring rain to a pizza café for dinner. There were 8 of us and Colin had us rolling up with his Africa tales. Got home at 12.30pm.

Cooked our own breakfast, and then talked to Grant, not knowing what to do with ourselves, where everything was closed.

I did a mountain of washing, before it started to rain again. That galvanised us into action and we drove into town where we found an immaculate pool hall. Had a few games each and I suggested we go to the Snake Park. Drove out 9 miles in heavy traffic cos there was a Holland v Argentina football match (convenient location eh?). The snake park was fascinating, made so by the 2 keepers who obviously loved their jobs. Saw the most deadly snake in Africa – the Gabon Viper, a flat head, with diamond patterns on his velvet-like skin. Saw Cobras trying to attack us through the glass and held a green ribbon snake that we had seen in Zaire and a smelly python.

The keeper milked a viper and got spitting cobra venom on his hand to show us! The worse part for me was playing with a lovely chameleon then watching it fighting for its life as dinner for the boomslang. We gave the keeper a piece of black rock from Algeria and he said it really does work.

On the way home we stopped for a few drinks at Park Lane Hotel (not as posh as it sounds!). Met Colin and Kate there. Had a communal cook up with Heather and Grant of Chilli con Carne, but it was so bitterly cold, we had to go to bed at 10, when the fire burnt out.

Any army of termites had been at work all night and eaten a huge hole in our mat. Revolting white things! Achim got bitten 3 times in the night when he was watering the tree! Battery was flat so needed a jump.

Action Day – we went straight to the Land Rover garage who took great pride in telling us he couldn’t fit us in for another month. Back to civilisation eh! They didn’t even have the bushes in stock. We’ve decided to try to fly to Victoria Falls to save time. Shopped around all the travel agents and it seems the cheapest price is 238ZD (£35), but we still have to find a safe place for Landy.

In the morning we left all our unused spares with Land Rover garage so after a posh coffee and cake we went back to see if they’d buy them. He took 1 ½ hours cataloguing them then said he’d only take the small bits but to try out another spares.

On the way we stopped at 3 garages to try to sell the parts. At 5pm we ended up at the spares workshop – they seemed really interested and took them to look at till tomorrow. All day running around and we got nowhere.

On the way back we stopped for a drink at Park Lane. Soon Achim arrived and then Heather and Grant. We went to the pool café for dinner then had a few games of pool. Heather told Kate she had her purse stolen and a Land Rover was broken into, outside the Youth Hotel – what a nice town!

Went to bed early at 8.30 to read and eat strawberries!

Didn’t have to be at spares garage till lunchtime so pottered about the campsite until 11am. I’ve just finished “Spike Milligan’s – Mandy’s part in my Victory” (or something like that) anyway its bloody hilarious.

Once in town we went to the Amex office but they didn’t have any post for us. Straight to the spares shop and they’ve agreed to give us 500Z$ and have a look at our clonking noise. The mechanic drove around the block and adjusted the brakes etc, but said it wasn’t necessary to change the bushes. Good News. He was also interested in buying our tools from us, so we’ll go back later.

Starving, we went to Le Paris and met Mark, then we booked our flight to Victoria Falls for tomorrow. I’m so excited – its going to be a holiday within a holiday.

We then met Achim and then the others, outside the dreaded Wimpy and took Grant and Achim to change some money. Garry then went to the British Embassy and the second Consulate said we can leave our car at his house and asked if we’re interested in doing any business with him! Everything’s going our way today.

The mechanic was finished for the day when we got there so it will have to wait until we get back. We went for one drink at the Red Fox (an authentic English Pub) before going back to the campsite. Had a cook up with Ann, Cal, Mark and Tracy and ended up playing silly sentence games.

Up at 7, we packed our bags and tidied everything away. Drove with Tracy and Mark to drop the car off but lost them somewhere along the line, so we hitched a lift into town. It only took 5 cars and we got a lift with a bitter white Zimbabwean, who said this country has got 3 years to live. There’s a white exodus to leave and the whole system is corrupt. We’ll have to see if he’s right.

Tracy and Mark just got to the airport in time – as they’d been waiting for us. Oops Sorry!. It was a new plane and a nice flight. We stopped once at Koriba, over the swollen Zambezi dotted with tiny islands, then again at Hwanga, the game reserve with Zebras, Wildebeest and Buffalo at the side of the runway.

Arrived at Victoria Falls at 1.30pm and took the bus to town. The campsite is in the centre of town and we booked a chalet for 2$12 each. It’s got a fridge and pots and pans and 3 beds. Went for a bite to eat in the café. Then looked around the shops, Garry wanted to buy a tree trunk with a head and pipe carved in it! Hand Luggage.

The Falls – were do I start to describe the views or the feeling. To see 178m wide of thundering water falling to 108m from the opposite side of the chasm with a permanent rainbow as the finishing touch. Getting soaked to the skin, oblivious to the fact, and gazing on to this natural wonder, as Livingstone did, I presume.

Apart from the track that takes you, in places, to the very edge, no sign of man can be seen and you are free to revel in its beauty. We were so excited we ran to the next place, which always seemed to give an even better view.

Snapped away nearly a film even though the camera got wet. Decided there and then to sod the expense and go on a Flight of Angels tomorrow.

Walked back, hot, tired and happy, and bought a crate of 24 beers for 2$16 (£2). Mark and Tracy came to our “house” for drinks. Then we went out to eat at 8pm.

The first hotel, Makasa Sun, was far too posh so we walked to the famous Victoria Falls hotel, as we looked through the hotel, in true colonial style, I felt sure the view was a cardboard cut out, no hotel could be that big! We sheepishly walked out to the terrace, where a glockenspiel band played Calypso. The exquisite barbeque was 2$18 each. Garry was starving so he went for it and the rest of us dribbled.

When no-one was looking, he passed the odd steak or chicken leg under the table to Mark. I was hungry, but too embarrassed but I did make the exception when the chocolate éclairs arrived. Crept out the back way and had a drink with Tracy and Mark before bed at 11pm.

Woke up at 3am with a dammed fly incessantly bombing my face. Went to Crystals Café for the full English breakfast. Wanted to book the “Flight of Angels” for today but there’s no pilot today, so we’ll go tomorrow. Took a walk around town and while snapping a red moggy minor (with a wind up key), the camera jammed. We were just about to resort to the sledge hammer when it freed itself and the blue vanished from the air.

Went to Victoria Falls hotel for a swim and managed to look inconspicuous for long enough for a swim each when the others arrived, day packs and all, and we all got thrown out. Bought some grub for dinner and Garry changed some money. Had a laze about for an hour before showering to go back to Victoria Falls hotel. We met Dennis and Terry (B.A. Air Hostess) for a drink on the terrace – la de da! – I took a run to see the gorge and bridge from there at sunset and then watched the “authentic zulu warriors” entertain the riches (oops masses).

Again, we were caught out, as we casually strolled out, an incredibly drunk Achim, saw us and shouted at full volume “Ah, fuck it you!” He and Shamus had hitched here with 2 Zimbabweans and a pub crawl all the way. We joined them for a quick drink then walked back to the campsite.

By this time it was 9.30pm and we cooked sausages and ate them with bread and salad. We were privileged with the company of a very playful cat all evening. Tracy, Ann and Cal stayed till 12pm and Garry put the cat out.

Didn’t get up until 8am, Garry was already showered and waiting. Went to Victoria Falls Hotel for a great breakfast – fruits, cereal, croissants, as much as you can eat for less than £1. I pigged myself and we didn’t move for an hour recovering. Ambled over to catch the bus to the aerodrome at 10.30.

It was such an organised affair – 5 went up before us and in exactly 15 minutes came down grinning. Great – our turn! The pilot took us up smoothly and soon we were flying high above the falls, which looked even more spectacular from here. Twice we circled to the left and then sharply he dived low leaving our stomachs behind, we frantically tried focusing our eyes and cameras on this never to be repeated experience. After doing the same thing on the right, we left Mosi O Tonyu (the smoke that thunders) and low about the magical Zambezi he pointed out several masses of entwined hippos and on the banks some crocodiles before taking us back down to earth.

It was a still, cloudless day so we retreated to the coolness of our rondoval and Garry and Mark played chess, while I wrote some letters.

Tracy, Ann and Cal went to the Zambian border and came back with 200k of ebony carvings – it will be a great sight to see them loaded in their ruck sacks. We bought some pork chops, sausages and salad for 15 and had a braa. Were joined by 3 South Africans and 3 Germans. It drank most the contents of a bottle of wine, and then we went to the Lions Club. It was empty so we had a game of killer darts with 20 people. The alcohol improved my aim and for the first time in my life, I played real good. We toppled home at 1am.

I had a great idea about going to Zambia for the day and stay over to see the Full Moon over the falls, all because the Zimbabwean officials wouldn’t let us into the falls area at night. After a full-on breakfast at the Victoria Falls hotel, we lugged our heavy bags to the most beautiful border post in the world. The officials see lots of tourists just for a day visit, so it was quick and easy, luckily because we were dripping from the heat.

No-Mans land was a walk across the Zambezi Bridge with a head on view of the falls and the boiling pot. By the time we reached the Intercontinental hotel we were wiped out. When we found out it cost 110 US $ a night, Garry had the grizzles and I began to think it wasn’t such a good idea. We tried to get a drink and were asked to leave the bar cos I was wearing flip-flops and were moved from the terrace table. A sure sign this is a new country.

We walked along the river to the Rainbow Lodge, a lower standard hotel, but still they wanted $24 per night, we were cheesed off and tired when Achim, Shamus and John arrived. It turned out really good in the end as Garry negotiated a low price and to be charged at a good rate with the Manager.

We walked back to the Curio stalls and bought a lovely book on Zambia. Talked for a while with the shop owner, a lovely man. As usual when we are apprehensive about a countries people it proves to be the total opposite. Perhaps, when a country’s in trouble it brings a community together or more likely they’re just nice, simple people. We decided to go to Livingstone, to take a look at this famous town, jumped into an old hand-painted taxi, that’s obviously looked after with loving care.

The taxi driver dropped us off outside a curio stall - when we found out that all the shops close for half a day on Saturday!

In reality the carvings at these 2 stalls were poor but the two old men working the wood with tender care was touching. They showed us the process they used with such devotion and looked so suffocated by the country’s situation, that we bought a little ebony woman figure.

Walked past the half stocked shops to the Livingstone Museum, it was the best I’ve seen so far in Africa. The section on traditional worship and belief was fascinating. It was nice to see so many families there. I did wonder at K Kaunda’s priorities though - he seems so concerned about conservation that he’s overlooked the fact that his people are starving.

A group of 10 little children followed me around asking questions on the exhibitions. It could have been they wanted to learn from the wisdom of a white woman, but I got the distinct impression they were testing me!

We sat outside the museum for ½ hour and watched life going past. A group of women returned from a traditional dance, flushed with excitement. Why is it - that the lower ones station in life, the greater the capacity is to have fun?

Our taxi arrived - and on the way back we learned of some of the stealing policies of KK. A farmer earns + K 150 per month. The 50K bag of mealie used to cost K28 and the very next day it was increased 4-fold to K115. Low incomers can apply for vouchers in theory - except none have been printed! Zimbabwe’s one of the world’s largest copper miners but since independence, the machinery has broken down and the revenue has found its way into a few privileged pockets. Therefore, there’s no foreign exchange for imports: therefore its impossible to buy the most basic products. Sounds like a familiar story.

On a higher note, we returned to white man luxury at the Inter Continental and had a drink by the pool that took a great deal of arranging. Then we attempted to eat outside, this was against the rules. Inside, we waited ½ hour for our food which was quite nice when it eventually arrived. They had 4 attempts at getting our bill right and in the end didn’t charge us for the drinks.

At sunset I went on my own to the top of the falls, and with goose bumps from sheer love of this natural world - I tried to capture it on film.

Later on Achim, Shamus and John arrived, red eyed and on another plane. We tried to organise a torch to light the way for our midnight sit by the falls but the manager told us it was dangerous to go at night. Can we miss this experience of a lifetime because we don’t want to take a risk. NO!, if we didn’t take risks I’d be at my office in London now.

Begged, borrowed or stole a torch and at 10.30 we walked down to the falls. We were soaked to the skin from the mist and were slipping over the stones. Achim, trousers rolled up, was totally paranoid about falling over and the mist spoilt our view anyway, so we stumbled back for a moonlit view from the top. Words cannot explain my feelings of total exhilaration, peace and excitement combined. I wanted to cry but the lump in my throat wouldn’t let me. A lunar rainbow dipped into the silver crushing caldron below our feet. The full moon shone a blue haze over the falls and all around. We ventured closer and closer to the edge - in the end the 5 of us sat gnome-like on a rock protruding over the edge. In silence, we prayed to this powerful beauty - for at least ½ an hour not a word was spoken; as I tried to indel every detail to my memory. To see, to feel, to live this experience made me realise what an excellent decision we made to change our lives and learn. So pure yet old - a new born baby millions of years ago.

Eventually we returned to this world and realised we were freezing cold and very wet. So we went to the hotel for a hot drink. After such an exhilarating feeling we were all quite drained and felt a loss. After we ordered our drinks we realised we didn’t have enough money and tried to cancel but the waiter took pity on us and slipped them to us without charging. The walk back to the Rainbow was quite enchanting, listening to the bird, bats and whatever else was awake. We all kept a watchful eye out for crocs and hippos but made it back in one piece.

Back at our pretty little roadoval, we had a family of frogs airing their lungs, but it was a nice serenade to end a perfect day.

We were woken by a knock at the door by a boy from the lodge to wish us a good morning. Went to the lodge for breakfast and we had a great eat with Tom Jones and Donny Osmond in black and white from a 20 year old show.

Had a lovely walk around the falls with an army guy who was so eager to show off his country’s greatest asset.

We walked around the curio stalls and got hassled to buy from desperate sellers. It was a colourful busy place and Garry was fascinated by the baobab drums - luckily I persuaded him we didn’t have anywhere to put a 24 inch wide drum!

The sky was rapidly blackening so we thought it best to get back to Zimbabwe. We had no problem getting through customs on either border and walked through the bush path back to the Victoria Falls hotel, where we met some guys hiding from the police for selling curios on a Sunday.

I was so hungry that my budgeting was dropped and I had a delicious buffet lunch and kept going back for more and passing rolls under the table to Garry. The desserts were delicious - Sherry trifle, chocolate éclairs etc. Yummy!

What a sophisticated day - after lunch we set in the bridge room and read while we were waiting for the bus to take us to the airport. We were transported along with Ivory bedecked yuppies to get our flight which went up without event at 3.15. It was a B747 and the biggest plane we’ve ever been on. Back at Harare, we had just missed the bus to town and instead of waiting another hour decided to try our luck hitching. After 10 cars, we were lucky and the man even took us all the way to the consulates house to collect our car. They were a middle-class black couple, so friendly, we exchanged addresses then found out he’s a detective from the fraud squad.

At David’s we had the embarrassment of a dead Land Rover. He had to get his own Land Rover to jump start ours as the other battery was dead as well. He was nice about it, but it gave us a chance to talk to him to find out what a racist was representing our country. We went for a quick burger before going back to the caravan park.

Had an organisational day, food shopping, going to the bank etc. Collected mail from the post office - received a lovely letter from Nanny - can’t wait to give her a hug. The best surprise was a letter from Lisa, who sounds like she’s in Cloud 9. What I thought was a letter from mum, turned out o be a tactful letter from dear David, the bank manager. He sweetly pointed out that we had overspent considerably but wished us all the best and looked forward to seeing us soon! Then, from Mauca Travel we had a letter from Ken, Sylv and a hilarious one from Al.

After driving the length and breadth of Harare, time slipped away and we thought it best not to leave until tomorrow. Managed to swap our compass for a new battery and sell our socket set for some more pocket money. Back at the caravan site, I did loads of washing and Garry cooked dinner. Had our first night on our own for weeks, which was nice and relaxing.

While I went to that great craft cooperative. Garry went and bought Alan a calendar and set him his packet. I bought a lovely loud screen print dress and top for £8 for both. Then we were on the road again to pastures new. We couldn’t even find our way out of town and after half a dozen false direction, we ended up in an industrial estate where a white man stopped us cos we looked lost and led us in the right direction. By 3pm we arrived at Zimbabwe Ruins, excited to learn about this ancient race. It was much hotter down here so we changed into shorts and set out to explore the ruins. There were 3 compounds built around huge boulders on a hill. Some walls were 3m thick in places and narrow alleyways led to the centres. It was so disappointing that they knew nothing about this cultures history - except it was already in decline when the Portuguese arrived to finish them off and loot and pillage.  There was a campsite in the grounds which was so peaceful. We parked under a huge tree and a sadness crept over us to think this would be the last time we would be camping out in dear old faithful Landy.

While we were cooking dinner, the soldier watchman joined us for a chat. He was drunk, I think, and hope, as he talked non-stop gibberish. He was so proud of his village that he wanted us to visit it tomorrow. Well, that was early on - later after dinner, which we gave him, he explained the last detail - we would have to pay 210 to see them making the beer! We’ll have to get out of this one. I don’t mind helping them out but I don’t like them dictating our donation!

When we reared our tiny heads at 6am it was pouring with rain, so we couldn’t go to the village anyway. At 6.30 we were ready to leave and he still hadn’t turned up so we waited for 10 minutes and he arrived so we gave him a lift home. It was a township with no road, so we would have had to leave the car in the road anyway. On our way back to the town we picked up a very nice well-spoken young man (just the sort to take home to Mum). As we drove down south it got hotter and drier until we finally arrived at Beitbridge at about 2pm. The countryside was just England Dairy farmland and there was no sign of villages anywhere. We rang Roach from a tiny hotel then went to a nearby clinic that was just being built to give them our unused medical supplies. Of course, they were very grateful; I just hope it goes to the right people. Ironically, as I lifted the box out from under the seat, I hurt my back.

It was nice to see Roach again and after a drink he took us to meet his folks. I expected them to live in the middle of nowhere, but it had houses either side and was a lovely place. Lunch was awaiting us and his parents made us really welcome. They’re an interesting couple - he has lived in the bus and speaks 5 different local languages, because of that, during the Rhodesian war he was sent in a negotiator and since then has been arrested and tortured twice by guerrillas. The last time was early last year and he was held for over a month, which has made him, understandably bitter.

Roach has 2 bucks running around the garden. Although they’ve been the family’s pets for 10 years they’re still wide eyed timid creatures and only skip on those fragile legs when you’re out of sight.

His father, Roy, cooked us a brai from his own stock of Lamb. He has 2 huge farms and evidently loves them fervently. They haven’t had rain for 6 months and things are getting quite desperate. Had some good talks: discussing the fate of this country and the complexities of South Africa. Garry and Roach stayed up to watch a video and I went to bed in his sister’s pink and frilly room.

We woke up early and I had a good chat to his Mum before she had to wake up sleepy head Roach, so we could breakfast and leave. My back is so painful I hope I haven’t damaged it.

We left at about 10.30 and soon were going through the Zimbabwe border. We had no problem at all and no-one even searched us. On the South African side, the customs building was huge, modern offices. It took a lot of getting used to seeing white soldiers. They were so friendly and the 3 of them were all asking me questions about the trip together at the same time. It was evident they were eager to make a good impression. One gave me his friends address in Cape Town. When it came to being searched he peeped in the back and said “Oh no, you’ve had enough searches, go ahead!” Inside the efficient office were posters explaining how to recognise limpet mines!

Driving through Messina I was amazed at how many white military around. Garry changed some money in the bank and said they weren’t very friendly. This is pure Afrikaans farming territory. We stopped at a café and learnt these are grocer’s stores! Found a little place for a snack and coffee and the lady was so nice to us. Then a well dressed black came in to buy a coke and sat down to drink it - she shouted at him, like a dog “Get out of here, OUT NOW!” I felt sick with anger - is this South Africa! We are here as silent observers but its difficult to keep quiet.

At Pietersbury we were amazed to find a caravan park in the centre of town. It was immaculate and far too organised to our taste. It did cost R14 though and there was a noticeable coolness about the black attendant. One sign asked customers to be patient with him and that a white supervisor would be available every morning! We went to a super modern hypermarket and bought some chops for dinner.

We had breakfast and left the caravan park at 9.30. We stopped off at the tourist office and picked up some government literature. The motorway drive to Jo’burg was quite non-descript. Much like England. We rang Trevor and got directions into this hectic city. Everything had a new rich look about it, and there was a noticeable lack of blacks. Most cars were driven by whites and one black man was tethered down in the back of a backie although a front seat was free. We found Trevor’s place easily and he was sitting on the porch waiting for us. He’s actually moved out of this pretty trendy bungalow. I felt awful about staying there but he promised it was alright and had been arranged.

We met Carrie, Trevor’s pretty little girlfriend and her sister Jo as well as Trevor’s sister Desi, who all live here. Carrie’s an excellent and totally dedicated artist.

We went for a walk to the local shops - an area well-known for its liberal approach. Had a drink and came back, feeling rather uncomfortable staying with people we don’t even know.

Decided not to outstay our welcome with our new friends and so after breakfast we went to look for a campsite. Found one in a park a few kilometres from Carrie’s. Its got a pool and is very spacious. I went out with Jo to buy some drink and salad for her birthday braai that afternoon. While I was out Garry range the house sitters service and made an appointment.

Jo’s 10 or so friends arrived and it was a bit clicky so we were glad to have reason to escape for our interview at house sitters. We waited for ½ hour for the lady to turn up. She questioned us for nearly a hour, was an obnoxious racist Brit, who declared that we need “THE BLACKS” to do the manual work because we can’t operate in this heat. Then we had to listen to a tape for more instructions. She did tell us that another overland couple were on her books and had difficulty selling their car!

This is panic time, and although we are trying to be calm the situation doesn’t look too good. Garry rang the customs office and we have to pay 110% + 20% +12% import duty. To make matters worse, we went down to a garage near here and he told us South Africa do assemble Land Rovers here. We saw an advert in the paper today for ’88 110 for R69000 inc. duty. So that means we’ll get about R25,000 - R30,000 (£6,000 - £7,000) unless we can find a way round it. We went back to Jo’s Braai and I had an interesting talk with Grey, a teacher.

The young English speaking people generally ashamed of the situation here but are pleased with the small changes and say this is an exciting time. By 7pm everyone went out in their different directions. Garry took Trevor to collect his smashed up car. When he returned we went down to the caravan park. There are huge well-equipped caravans here with awnings etc. They even have fridges so it looks like they live here.

A beautiful sunny day, we had a nice breakfast under the shade of a tree, shared with 100 doves.

We decided to go to the caravan park where house sitters said another Land Rover was. We got directions from the very friendly guards and set off. This city is a maze of motorways and we weaved in and out until we were south of the town and surrounded by huge hills, left over from the gold mining here.

We found them, in a leisure water complex in a cramp caravan park complete with gardens and gnomes. It turned out to be the australian couple who were travelling with Scott and Diana. They’re quite disillusioned with Africa, have spent a week trying to sell in Botswana and now in their 2nd week trying to sell here. This is all quite depressing news.

When we got back to the campsite, there were huge fat walking birds parading around. We rang Fodge and he said he’d try to get down to see us tonight. It started raining and got quite cold so we went inside and played cards.

Action Stations: we set off early to do a tour of the garages. A few were very friendly, considering the breed of car salesmen. The story was much the same though, you won’t get what you’re asking for. Two gave us names to ring and we went to see one. He owned a 4x4 garage on the other side of town. They actually kit out Land Rovers there for safari but in a much simpler basic. He suggested we either ship it home or get it stolen! We left with our tails between our legs.

In town, we put an ad in the Stov for 4 days which cost £30.

We were cheered up in the evening when Fodge came down with his friend Newman. I like Fodge so much, he’s so warm and honest - he came down with beers, a bag of sweets and some bakkie.

They stayed an hour or so and arranged to show us some night life of Jo’burg. We took our time getting ready and I wore my new dress from Zimbabwe. It makes you feel so good dressing up after so long. We went to Roxsey’s - a bar that has live Jazz. It had a totally unpretentious relaxed atmosphere and after a couple of “raging bulls” each, I felt the same.

We met Fodge’s brother and in all had a great time. Afterwards we went for Shwarmen (a kind of doner kebab with lots of different sauces). Delicious! Fodge let Garry drive his new Ford Laser, which went down well.

Bad timing - the car has lost all power and is billowing out black exhaust fumes! Garry went off to sort that out and I stayed at the campsite to answer the thousands of requests to buy the car.

Well, the phone didn’t keep me that busy, and I did clothes washing all day. Much to the dismay of the cleaners there, who tried to persuade me that I should hire a “girl”.

Garry got back at four. He had fixed the car himself. Too much oil was put in and it spewed out clogging the air filter. So simple and I was sure the engine had gone. We made 6 unsuccessful phone calls. Then got a braai ready.

Fodge, Newman and another friend came round for the evening. After we finished eating though I went to bed cos I’ve got a cold and felt lousy.